The office building seemed normal enough. You shrug off the feeling of dread as you enter the doors. There’s no receptionist. Simply two doors. One is green, the other orange. Which do you take? Why are you there? What happens next?
The morning happened in a blur,i do not exactly remember what had happened except for the vaguest memories of waking up and doing the daily bodily chores that accompanied it.It was like looking through the clouded lens of someone else;*brng brng*,a hand wobbled unsteadily to shut the alarm clock and the view shifted up into the washroom,before turning left then right then remaining stationary.I was mercilessly lifted up and After that my left arm stretched into the wardrobe while I was tying my shoes.I turned towards the door and opened it*flash*,I was in this office building dressed up formally and holding a briefcase.I looked at my outfit and touched it-why am I wearing this?The gentle sound of the bell brought my head up to see 2 doors,red and orange.The sound was almost ethereal and light,beckoning me into one of the 2 rooms.A desk caught my eye and on it there rested a label with the words receptionist on it.However there was no receptionist to be seen,and as I called out for the receptionist my voice echoed back to me,reflecting to me my isolation-WAIT,an echo!,does that mean that I am in an enclosed room!?I whipped my head back and I came face to face the white,monotonous dull wall.I stumbled back a bit before my back hit something.I turned around expecting to see the receptionist desk but instead the 2 doors were right in my face now,and the desk has disappeared.Shit,anything beats staying here and without hesitation-merely relying on gut feeling;i opened the green door.a bright light stunned me before revealing a garden,almost like that of eden.In the centre sat a glimmering pool,only a few inches deep;and it was circled by sparsely placed palm trees,dew still dripping from it.I walked into the pool;half mesmerized,and laid in it,hoping to get some sort of relief from what had happened earlier.The green door!why is it still there?As if sensing me,the door creaked open and I managed to get a glimpse of the office building I was previously in.There were people walking around,doing their business as usual,and the receptionist and her desk were in the same spot before it disappeared too.None of them however seemed to pay any attention to this door or what lied behind it.It had become clear to me then that I was in an alternate dimension. It was unusually serene.to the the point of creepiness.I heard nothing but the rustling of tree leaves and the faint sound of wind soothing past my ears.If anything,this place seemed like it was meant for self-reflection.A key dropped down from above the sky;i tried to reach out for it but found myself rooted to the pool.3 doors appeared in front of the key,one orange,the other red and last one green.The key slowly took the form of a human and that human appeared to be me.naked and looking dazily at the green and orange doors,ignoring the red door at the middle.The 3 doors swung open with a snap and behind it I saw 3 possible manifestations of my future.One was a bearded sleep deprived me working in the office and going through piles of documents.The middle one was a skinny,suspiscious looking me in a messy,unlit room using the computer and with the curtains shut.The last one portrayed the most interesting aspect,me hanging out with my friends at a café.The images start to run;the office workers finishes his job,goes home,rests on his bed and has some cheap entertainment through his computer and tablet.He was deprived of his essence and soul,eyes drooping and coloured black,living each day merely to get through it.The loner in the 2nd room simply repeats his routine everyday,fooling himself that this is the only thing that appeals to him;surfing the internet,looking up interesting things and playing games.I stiffened in my pool,knowing how close this reality is to me.The 3rd one was quite obviously,my dream life;however riddled with challenges and twists it may be.The scences outside of chilling with my friends were mostly blank and vague,implying that he saw nothing else as important as friendship and its benefits.He has a decent-paying job and is able to wander around once in a while around the streets on his off-days,looking aimlessly into shops and into relationships shared among other people.It is clear from his eyes that those are a far-fetched dream for him,that making any more meaningful friendship became tougher as people aged.He also didn’t see any meaning to things other than relationships;his hands joint together behind his back,imitating that of an old man.He turned up and looked at me;eyes apathetic and purposeless.The doors shut close,and the “key” in front of me gave me an innocent look before going into the 3rd door.It sprang to a shut almost immeadiately like a trap and I managed to catch a last glimpse of his shocked expression.It seems like none of those doors are worth venturing into,i thought.Either ways I am a desperate man who lives off scraps given to me by a primate turned man life.i can only live a sustainable life by forgoing certain things,authenticity,relationships and meaning.None of the doors portray a complete gift containing all 3,and the ones missing are substituted by other less functional products;who cant pass off to a human eye for more than a second.Unless of course,he goes mad and lives life for simply these things;glorifying and establishing them as values,traditions,and institutions.
I lay in my pool,laughing sadistically and grabbing a beer next to me that appeared out of nowhere to fill my needs it seems;and gulped it down.I stare drunkily at the doors before looking up towards the heavens for one last final laugh,in hopes and in wait for a better door to open…
How was your dream,the psyschologist asked?”meh,it was depressing but it showed me something””and what was it?”i explained to him my dream that had been induced with a new pharmaceutical drug.”mm hmm”he nodded.”and what do you think of it”?”well there was no right or wrong revealed to me but the idea has been sharpened now that I know my circumstances better”.”Do you think there is a right or wrong doctor?And if there is,what path should I take?”He smiled and shaked his head”I do not know,and neither is it my job to judge.As doctors,all we can do is hear our patients out.In fact I think that is as far as any bridge or boat can go,they cant cross anymore further into the edge,for if they do they fall down and die.What anyone has neared the edge can do is to be with people who are on the edge too,either on this bridge or on some other bridge,while dangling their legs over the edge of the world;in awe of their freedom and because of it;a proximity to death”.
The doctor and the room vaporized upwards as my eyes follow them,almost in a futile desperate effort to salvage the room.I am now in my room,engaged in an animated conversation with myself and my gestures and I stare blankly forward,realizing how deep in the pit I am,and smirk.